Advice, Lifestyle

Fragility in the Modern Age

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Someone once told me, the ability for one to feel and to display vulnerability and emotional fragility, is a pure display of the epitome of human existence. Darwin’s theory of evolution aside, the complexities of human emotion and the innate ability to discern these emotions is our super power. In this day and age, we have inherently managed to strip a part of our humanity away by trying to numb our emotions as much as possible, lest we are perceived as ‘weak’. Love, anger, happiness, hate, passion etc. These are all waves of energy moving in and out of a bigger wave of energy known as the human body. With humans being considered top of the food chain, we could really learn a lot from our fellow animal species. For instance, if we spent a day in the life of a puppy, you’ll notice in awe at how they are fully able to dive into their emotional energy. This allows them to exist completely in the present. That’s what real living is. Time non-existent, heart open, using emotions as an extension of our deepest core that would otherwise never get the chance to be expressed.

No one really knows why we’re here, or even what ‘here’ is. All we can be sure of, is what we feel, and what we do with what we feel. We are in the age of mistrusting what we feel. We question, we deny, we distract. However, the body never lies. If you listen closely, your body will tell you everything you need to know. When we really tune into the energetic humming of our heartbeat, our breath, our senses, at that moment, nothing else really matters.

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Emotional vulnerability is not and never will be a weakness. In-fact, it’s a bridge that connects us human beings by extending those deeper ties. Now, I should probably address the elephant in the room. One of the main reasons people fear being vulnerable,  is the possibility of them being hurt in any way. This possibility far outweighs the benefits of having a life changing connection with someone through emotional vulnerability. We(or dare I say our egos) are so afraid of being rejected & hurt that we have become capable of coexisting while successfully dodging  intimacy. Yes of course there is going to be rejection and everyone is going to get hurt at the hands of someone else. That’s one of the inevitable conditions that accompanies life’s one way ticket. But being hurt due to having a deep emotional connection with someone does not diminish the existence of that experience and the lessons that you could learn from it.  The human experience is laden with connections. These connections allow us to learn from each other by learning about each other. Personally, being a very passionate person about a lot of things, emotional vulnerability comes very easy to me (Too easy sometimes). However, I can confidently say that it’s these emotional connections I’ve had that have taught me the significant lessons I needed to learn.

So my friend, I urge you to remain open. It will be a whirlwind at first, learning how to feel. But humans endured building Rome for 276 years, I’m sure you can handle a whirlwind of emotions.

Until next time,

Vi.

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Advice, Inspiration, Lifestyle

(Almost) Quarter Life Crisis

Sunday morning, fall sunlight, 90’s music in the background, wake and bake. What could be better than that right? However, as I sit here, in my new apartment right in the middle of one of the biggest cities in Canada, I can’t help but think “Is this is what adulting is like???”

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See the thing is, no one ever really tells you about the early twenties. All everyone ever talks about, is your prime years being 25-30, getting married and having kids in your thirties while hopefully having discovered your dream career and taking vacations every year to (Insert any tropical island here). So today my friends, we are going to talk about my official almost quarter life crisis.

Being in my early twenties, I feel like (I should be) an adult about 70% of the time, the other percent is represented by me trying to get away with childish tendencies.(Audience laughs). I mean, as much as I am trying not to grow up too fast, I also want to establish myself and create opportunities for myself in this world. In all ways that applies to. BUUT at the same time, I’d rather not deal with figuring out how to get my taxes done or colour co-ordinate my furniture. Sometimes I want to be, just be, without all the complications and responsibilities that come with adulting. For me, growing up has been about creating a home for myself, within myself. But how do you even begin to create something so intangible?

Trying to create a home away from home is all about creating a space that makes sense for you in whatever period of life you are in. Some people even create homes in other people. Being in my early twenties, I have had to think about what a home means to me, and who I am when I leave home. Do/Can I necessarily take it with me? If I plan on taking part in the nomad life for a while, will home be something I have to recreate at each destination? But if we go with the alternative, which is home being a place I can always get back to, then won’t I feel a sense of incompleteness if I’m not at home? I know, these are definitely the kinds of questions everyone should ask themselves on a Sunday morning.

A lot of the times, it’s easy for our minds to rush to the future for what life is going to be like at your “prime”/best years. To quote one of my favourite authors, Eckhart Tolle, “You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection.” In this case, the mind projection being unnecessary worries about the timeline of life, which is clearly imposed by societal standards. Well, all I have to say is fuck society and its timelines and YES to taking each day as it comes.

At this very moment, on this Sunday morning, I am enjoying my cup of tea while basking in the morning sun. The feeling of home is closer than ever, and being in my early twenties has never felt so good.

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Advice, Inspiration

Life is Cyclic

Happy Saturday my loves, guess who’s back from the depths of the earth after a long long long period of silence! Today, I want to talk about exactly that, something I have been struggling with for some time now. I very much believe in the power of transparency and vulnerability. I hope that sharing my journey with mental illness will inspire others to do the same, and through opening up to one another we can spark conversation and crush the stigma that divides us all.

At the end of the day, none of us are perfect obviously, and we can’t always be happy, joyful or present all the time. We are all struggling with something. When I decided to start a blog, my aim was to connect with and reach an audience, and hopefully inspire people along the way as well. As my blog has grown throughout the past few years, I have found a sense of community, where you can discover that other people are going through the same things that you might be going through, and that you are never alone.

Today, I want to talk about my struggle with depression. Struggling with depression has been incredibly tough and has knocked me down more heavily than I would like to admit. Having grown up in a belief system that mental illnesses are something you just need to “Get over”, I have had to sit down with myself and accept that yes, this struggle is part of my journey, and yes, this is something that I am not ashamed of despite the stigma around it. For all the times when I’ve been told, “Why are you depressed you have so much to be thankful for” or “Why are you always so negative all the time” or “Just calm down and relax and everything will be fine”. For all the times I have felt guilty about being depressed because yes, I do have many many things to be grateful for, but yet I still questioned why I felt that heavy feeling of sadness and dread over my shoulders. It’s important that we educate ourselves on how to approach and have conversations about and with people who are suffering from mental illnesses.

Through my struggle with depression, I have learnt to hold myself, and to comfort myself through the pain. I have learnt to lean on others and be okay with it, I have learnt that getting help when necessary is nothing to be ashamed of, and trusting that I will always find a way to get through it. I have learnt that my depression does not and will never define me, that I am a whole person outside of my trauma and obstacles that I face. I have learnt that yes, it’s completely okay to take some time off from the mediums through which I choose to express myself to the world, such as social media, and even my blog.

Taking time off to take care of yourself is necessary, because as human beings we are constantly giving off our energy into our careers, relationships and friendships. I am lucky enough to have people who support me and push me to be the best version of myself, despite seeing the “not so good” sides.

Life is cyclic, there are days when it’s incredibly hard to get up in the morning, and it’s not because of lack of sleep. There are other days when I can’t wait to see another day and experience the world for all it’s splendour. It’s important that despite everything, we embrace ourselves for who we truly are, in our entirety and not see ourselves as a reflection of our struggles. After all, we are only human, and we are doing our best at it.

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Advice, Inspiration, Lifestyle

The Spine of Womanhood

Hey guys! Hope everyone is having an excellent summer afternoon. This blog post will be a little different, as I want to introduce a part of me that I have kept hidden for a while. Most of you know that I love all things writing, but only a few people have read and seen my poetry. Nowadays, with so much discrediting of works of art(completely unnecessary) upcoming writers are more held back and doubtful about putting their work out there. There is such a high standard for poetry that in all honesty not even the best poets can reach. What happened to the days where we would write poems just for the sake of writing?
Everyone is going to have an opinion on everything, and I am tired of hiding that part of myself because I know there are people out there who will relate to my poems. And if you don’t, that’s completely okay too. So here it goes 🙂

When I was five years old
The world through my eyes was a halo of sweet gold
Embodiment of oxygen through my everyday adventures,
Never questioning, doing everything as I was told
I turned ten and my little world started shifting
I would notice how the women in my life were living
Unnoticeable things like,
How they always held the household on their spines
How they were expected to bend over backwards , everyone else had to come first
yet themselves lagging in last
As if womanhood came with a one way ticket to paradise, as long as we left our needs behind
How they slaved over men, men that should have deemed themselves lucky to be in presence of such queens
For without them the earth would crumble
The earth would shake
Chaos.
After two decades soon passed
I was a woman now
Head turning hips
Magnetic lips
And a figure that God moulded himself,
A dash of beauty here, A mix of greatness there
As a woman, these expectations that had befallen the women before me
And that will continue to cast a shadow over the women after me soon arised
Viona,
Remember to always keep your legs closed and your books open
Because a woman is not allowed to explore her sexuality the same way a man does,
And still be considered as educated
And still want to be appreciated
Yet still demanding to be respected
Our value as human beings is placed on how many men we fuck by men who fuck women over as a hobby
Our one priority is only to procreate and our pleasure comes last if it cums at all
Tell me again how my value as a being is lessened twicefold,
Just because I choose to be as free as the birds in the sky,
And as threatening as the wind
It was said long ago that the moon would admire how unapologetic the waves moved as she spoke to the sea
The moon loved the sea from a distance, letting her be everything she was with no judgment
What changed?
They don’t understand that our bodies belong to us, and they should be grateful for having a glimpse of the paradise that we choose to offer them
My body will not be a hole that you can dump yourself into when you feel the world has forgotten you
My body will not be a pit stop for when you’re on your long journey home
My body is the home
That nourishes and feeds the soul
My body brings life
The life that mother nature herself breathes into the flowers, the birds, the trees
So next time anyone utters to us what a woman should and shouldn’t be
What we can and can’t do
Simply tell their words to flutter wings
And fly somewhere else
Because those words are not welcomed here

-The spine of womanhood

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Advice

Advice series

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Hey guys! I was recently reflecting on my first year experience and wow did it fly by.. I still remember move in day, when my mother dropped me off, I remember how nervous and excited I felt, and I remember what I thought university was going to be isn’t what it ended up being like. So for this week’s post I wanted to try something a little different. I thought it would be really fun to do an advice series where I talk about stuff and give tips that might be of help to you guys!
To start off, I have come up with things I’ve learnt from first year, just to help some of you guys who might be going into college or university this fall, or just to anyone in general 🙂 I suggest getting comfortable, this is gonna be a long one!


Yep we gotta start with this one. I know you’ve probably heard this a million times from other people, ITS TRU GUYS TRUST ME. I learnt this the hard way, through half assing studying for exams and completing assignments. I mean this totally gave me pretty good grades in high school. But I’ve come close to failing tests just because I didn’t put in 100% effort that I REALLY SHOULD HAVE. I totally understand the fact that you want to experience as much as possible and be involved in everything you can. The truth is, you went to uni/college for a reason, paying an arm and leg just to be there, and it’s something you always have to remind yourself. Totally get out there and have a good time, BUUT make school a priority.


You know that chess club that you really wanted to join in high school but were scared because none of your friends were in it? Or that anime club that you desperately wanted to be a part of but you were scared people were going to make fun of you? Well I’m telling you if there is ever a time to do whatever the f*** you always wanted to do, it’s when you get to university. Being scared because you might get judged or because you don’t know anyone there yet are just silly excuses. JUST DO IT. You end up making new friends who share the same interests as you, andd you get to do what you love, whether it’s sport teams, or hobbies. Win win for you.


I understand the nervousness and excitement of wanting to make friends as fast as possible and make as many as possible right on your first day, I totally do. What you have to realize is that YOU WILL NOT CLICK WITH EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU MEET. And when this does happen, don’t beat yourself up over it, the vibe just isn’t there so don’t try to force anything. Having a positive attitude about everything and an open mind while getting to know someone will go a long way. Whatever friendships you do make, work on them and just enjoy the time getting to know the other person! Don’t feel as if you have to be absolute best friends by the second week( I mean if you are that’s great). But the best friendships happen in the most natural ways possible, where you don’t see it coming and next thing you know, you guys are inseparable.


New beginnings doesn’t mean forget about everyone else who’s been there for you till now. Whether it be your parents or guardians, or even your friends, a phonecall every now and then makes the biggest difference. As you’re bringing all these new people into your life, don’t forget about the ones you left behind. Even if you do commute back home everyday, schedule time to spend with your family, grandparents, or a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.


I cannot address this enough, leave all the unnecessary drama in high school. Going to university or college marks a big step in your life, where you have to start dealing with things in a more mature way(Omg I sound like a mom..) If someone offfends you orr does something hurtful, DO NOT a) Start subtweets on twitter b) Start beef on facebook c) Start a full on in person fight d) Spread any rumours. Like come on, we’re not in eighth grade, there are other ways of handling a situation other than lashing out on people or on social media. You don’t want your first year experience to be filled with negativity and a bad reputation for starting drama.


This is completely unavoidable. People you may have started the year with might not be the same people you end the year with. Your circle will get smaller, or bigger, and the more people you meet, the more selective you will become about who you chose to spend time with.  Learning how to let go of people who don’t help you move forward in any way will be a key thing to do, not only during first year, but also for the rest of your university experience. The best thing is to let life work itself out, and you won’t even have to fight for the people who should be in it.


The most important one of all (Other than not getting kicked out of school) is to get out there, have an amazing time and do not care about what anyone thinks or what anyone will say. Everyone is so busy doing their own thing, that no one has time to sit there and judge your every move. If you wanna dress a certain way, go for it! If you wanna try out new sports, teams, that new hairstyle, HELL YEAHH. This is your time, your experience, and ultimately your life.

Until next time!

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